Gifts for us Colored Folk

Every Christmas (or Hannakuh or Kwanza...but I'm on the record for saying Kwanza in my opinon is not a holiday) we make mad dashes to the store in search of the perfect gift for our friends and family.  You think you've found the perfect thing, then comes the doubt; do they like the color red? Do they already have this? Is this too cheap?

Well these days are over! At least for your "ethnic friends," because the New York Times has published a lovely guide, "Of Color | Stylish Gifts," to help you out! That's right because apparently people of color don't like iPods, books, gift cards, etc., we instead like gifts that remind us that we are the marginalized groups of U.S. and global society.

Some recommendations? For your black friends Carol's Daughter's Princess and the Frog Beauty kit, presumably because it kills two birds with one stone...recognizing Disney's First Black Princess while simultaneously taming your friends wild negro hair;  to reinforce the erroneous idea that we live in a post racial society, what about Nikki Grimes' book, Barack Obama: Son of Promise, Child of Hope, since obviously Barack Obama's election signaled the end of racism; and well because since all blacks have kids out of wedlock what about Baby Jamz a collection of remixed nurury rhymes by Beyonce! It probably comes with a lace front wig as an accessory.

Don't feel left out Latinos! The Wise Latina t-shirt seems to be a shoe in for your liberal girlfriends, and for their kids (because along with blacks, Latinos are the other race group with children out of wedlock) what about the bilingual childrens book, Sonia Sotomayor: A Judge Grows in the Bronx/La Juez Que Crecio en el Bronx by Jonah Winter?

Now, now....Asians you too fell victim to the list.  Because your face is so different from that of a white person's, despite the presence of eyes, ears, a nose, and a mouth you are very likely to find Asian Faces: The Essential Beauty and Makeup Guide for Asian Women by Taylor Chang-Babaian stuffed in your stocking! And because all Indians wear Henna all the time and they all love Bollywood what about Ash Kumar’s Bollywood Henna Kit

Really New York Times...REALLY!?! What made you guys think this was a good idea? Believe it or not but minorities are people too, meaning we don't need special gifts to let us know we're minorities. Trust. We are well aware.  The writer of this article is actually African American, and Poplitics is frantically searching for photo evidence.  Nonetheless, NYT issued this statement regarding the article:

Our online gift guides are intended to offer holiday gift ideas for a wide variety of audiences and interests, with Times writers and editors making smart, informed choices that might appeal to those different audiences.

The "Of Color" guide, in the Style & Travel category, is in keeping with that philosophy, and with the efforts of a diverse Times staff to directly address minority readers with our content.

Of course, we expect our readers to use the guides however they choose, and we hope they'll find interesting ideas in many different categories. But we'll continue our effort to provide content that's relevant and appealing.

Here are the issues I have with that lame statement:
1. Our online gift guides are intended to offer holiday gift ideas for a wide variety of audiences and interests: Then why wasn't there a "What to buy for your White friends" guide?
2. The "Of Color" guide, in the Style & Travel category, is in keeping with that philosophy, and with the efforts of a diverse Times staff to directly address minority readers with our content.: Umm, the way the article was written illustrates that it was geared toward readers who were not any of the races/ethnicities spoken about in the article. So I call BS on this one.
3. Of course, we expect our readers to use the guides however they choose, and we hope they'll find interesting ideas in many different categories. But we'll continue our effort to provide content that's relevant and appealing.: This isn't relevant! It reinforces the idea that minorities are "different" and should be treated as so, right down to Christmas shopping.



So in an effort to do what the NYT didn't do, I've composed a short list of things you should buy for your white friends. Just like the NYT article, I was sure to play up on stereotypes (many of the ideas taken from Stuff White People Like):

1. Learn Hip Hop Dance DVD, beause White people love to bust a move...or try to, especially around their one black friend.
2.  An Apple gift card, because White people love (and can actually afford) Apple products
3. An "I heart my Prius" bumper sticker, because White people love bumper stickers and being environmentally conscious, two birds, one stone!
4. A loofah, anyone who saw Tyra's show on race knows that White people prefer loofahs to wash cloths.

See its not very funny when its the other way around, is it? Three Boo's for all involved at the NYT in this "post racial society" Christmas list. BOOOO.