Mhmm, I bet

I wonder how much BP paid scientists to say this.  I find it hard to believe since le oil has met the Gulf current loop that would propel the gunk up the east coast.  Even if its true, I need BP to be more aggressive in saving my oceans because I am not impressed with the oil straw despite an alleged 40 percent capture rate.

Corporations are not people

Okay, this BP thing is about to make me go and start a more militant version of Greenpeace.  In fact, look at my people at work.  PS: I'd love a copy of that press release.

Anyhow, after weeks this thing is stilllll freeaaaaking GUSHING!  Ludicrous.  Now, if you recall, I wrote an entry about a week ago, that has one of the few images that shows how much oil is pouring into the ocean.  Given the horror of that video, it makes sense that BP representatives, executives, and managers only want you to see that hellish orange sheen lurking to the Gulf shore.



I'm a bootleg body language expert.  Now if you take a look, BP's COO Doug Suttles is looking down and shaking his head no.  What does that mean? He's lying.  Now while the COO lies, the PR machine is putting up all types of videos about "responsible" and "responsive they are."  Bullocks and poppycock.  I thought that maybe if I used British slang these idiots would rub two brain cells together, make a little heat, and do more to plug the gush and not with trash! Who's ignorant idea was that?!

This weekend I watched Black Wave on Planet Green, a documentary about the Exxon Spill of 1989.  It was depressing.  In Alaska, over twenty years later oil is still present in the soil, along the rocks, and washing on the shore.  The Valdez disaster pales in comparison to the Gulf gush in my opinion.  Even though I'm horrified by these some experts and scientists assert that this isn't a big deal and has been sensationalized...I'm sure they will retire nicely thanks to BP.

So, screw you Tony Hayward, Rupert Bondy, Sally Bott, Iain Conn, Robert Dudley, Byron Grote, Andy Inglis,  Lamar McKay, and Steve Westwell* for ruining my beaches and raising the price of local seafood.

*I spelled out the executive management staff of BP because I feel that it is important to realize corporations are not people, and as a society we need to push to make each of these individuals responsible for their poor decisions based upon financial greed.

Also, I love Keith Olberman.  But Keith, Sarah wasn't the only idiot, she was just the loudest.

Really?!

I quit.  Why is there talk of plugging this oil gush with trash?! My kids may never see a beach at this rate.

Gush Baby, Trickle?

After weeks of trying to cap the oil leak, BP has finally lowered the second containment dome.  In the cover of darkness (told you they were evil), BP started lowering the 4-story containment, save as much of our oil so that we can turn a profit dome to the site of the leak; officials expect that the dome (assuming it works) will be operational (capturing and pumping oil) by Monday.  This is good news since this monstrosity is gushing a disgusting, murky 5,000 barrels of oil A DAY.  

Now if anyone is anything like me, they've been curious to know: "What the hell does oil gushing at the bottom of the ocean look like?!" Well, here it is (this is BP capping the first leak, and the oil becomes truly apparent around the 1:50 mark):

Sadly, the oil has already reached the delicate nature reserves off the coast of Louisiana...booo BP hissssss boooo.  Also, speaking of economic impacts, I'm curious if this oil gush* will drive BP convenience stores out of business (at least in the Gulf and in left leaning states) as people protest the giant.  Thoughts?

*I refuse to call this a spill as a spill is an event with a clear beginning and end; this is a gush as oil has been pouring non stop into our fragile, and once sexy ocean.

Gifts for us Colored Folk

Every Christmas (or Hannakuh or Kwanza...but I'm on the record for saying Kwanza in my opinon is not a holiday) we make mad dashes to the store in search of the perfect gift for our friends and family.  You think you've found the perfect thing, then comes the doubt; do they like the color red? Do they already have this? Is this too cheap?

Well these days are over! At least for your "ethnic friends," because the New York Times has published a lovely guide, "Of Color | Stylish Gifts," to help you out! That's right because apparently people of color don't like iPods, books, gift cards, etc., we instead like gifts that remind us that we are the marginalized groups of U.S. and global society.

Some recommendations? For your black friends Carol's Daughter's Princess and the Frog Beauty kit, presumably because it kills two birds with one stone...recognizing Disney's First Black Princess while simultaneously taming your friends wild negro hair;  to reinforce the erroneous idea that we live in a post racial society, what about Nikki Grimes' book, Barack Obama: Son of Promise, Child of Hope, since obviously Barack Obama's election signaled the end of racism; and well because since all blacks have kids out of wedlock what about Baby Jamz a collection of remixed nurury rhymes by Beyonce! It probably comes with a lace front wig as an accessory.

Don't feel left out Latinos! The Wise Latina t-shirt seems to be a shoe in for your liberal girlfriends, and for their kids (because along with blacks, Latinos are the other race group with children out of wedlock) what about the bilingual childrens book, Sonia Sotomayor: A Judge Grows in the Bronx/La Juez Que Crecio en el Bronx by Jonah Winter?

Now, now....Asians you too fell victim to the list.  Because your face is so different from that of a white person's, despite the presence of eyes, ears, a nose, and a mouth you are very likely to find Asian Faces: The Essential Beauty and Makeup Guide for Asian Women by Taylor Chang-Babaian stuffed in your stocking! And because all Indians wear Henna all the time and they all love Bollywood what about Ash Kumar’s Bollywood Henna Kit

Really New York Times...REALLY!?! What made you guys think this was a good idea? Believe it or not but minorities are people too, meaning we don't need special gifts to let us know we're minorities. Trust. We are well aware.  The writer of this article is actually African American, and Poplitics is frantically searching for photo evidence.  Nonetheless, NYT issued this statement regarding the article:

Our online gift guides are intended to offer holiday gift ideas for a wide variety of audiences and interests, with Times writers and editors making smart, informed choices that might appeal to those different audiences.

The "Of Color" guide, in the Style & Travel category, is in keeping with that philosophy, and with the efforts of a diverse Times staff to directly address minority readers with our content.

Of course, we expect our readers to use the guides however they choose, and we hope they'll find interesting ideas in many different categories. But we'll continue our effort to provide content that's relevant and appealing.

Here are the issues I have with that lame statement:
1. Our online gift guides are intended to offer holiday gift ideas for a wide variety of audiences and interests: Then why wasn't there a "What to buy for your White friends" guide?
2. The "Of Color" guide, in the Style & Travel category, is in keeping with that philosophy, and with the efforts of a diverse Times staff to directly address minority readers with our content.: Umm, the way the article was written illustrates that it was geared toward readers who were not any of the races/ethnicities spoken about in the article. So I call BS on this one.
3. Of course, we expect our readers to use the guides however they choose, and we hope they'll find interesting ideas in many different categories. But we'll continue our effort to provide content that's relevant and appealing.: This isn't relevant! It reinforces the idea that minorities are "different" and should be treated as so, right down to Christmas shopping.



So in an effort to do what the NYT didn't do, I've composed a short list of things you should buy for your white friends. Just like the NYT article, I was sure to play up on stereotypes (many of the ideas taken from Stuff White People Like):

1. Learn Hip Hop Dance DVD, beause White people love to bust a move...or try to, especially around their one black friend.
2.  An Apple gift card, because White people love (and can actually afford) Apple products
3. An "I heart my Prius" bumper sticker, because White people love bumper stickers and being environmentally conscious, two birds, one stone!
4. A loofah, anyone who saw Tyra's show on race knows that White people prefer loofahs to wash cloths.

See its not very funny when its the other way around, is it? Three Boo's for all involved at the NYT in this "post racial society" Christmas list. BOOOO.

Ya Basta, Zelaya!

Elections in Honduras have come and gone, the new president has been recognized by most in the international community, but Manueal Zelaya just will not go away!  Zelaya is now demanding asylum!

Really...Zelaya created and fueled this mess by refusing to negotiate, just make demands, a trend he doesn't seem intent on breaking.

If Lula likes him so, why doesn't HE grant Zelaya asylum into Brazil...yeah, exactly.

I'm just waiting for the love child...

This Tiger Woods mess is getting out of control...well not getting. This Tiger Woods mess is OUT OF CONTROL. Last count, brings us to 9, thats right--NINE sidechicks!

Here is my advice to Tiger:

1. Fire your PR people, they obviously are not on your side.  In fact, you should try to find a firm that specializes in Caublasian disasters like your own.

2. Cheat up! If you're going to cheat, cheat with sidechicks who look better than your wife, who's pretty smokin.

3. Get tested for syphillis and chylamdia, both STIs are making a comeback with resistant strains

4. Hit it and leave it, no texts or staying over, yes you read right...he stayed at her house! Hit it and quit it is the mantra for cheaters for a reason.

5.  Hide the golf clubs, because Elin is likely to go Chris Brown on your ass again.

Now, to bring up a serious issue...race...in this debacle.

Check this out, look past the boob jobs and the ignorance: 

Really, the "whitest black boy" you've ever met. Did she really just say boy in America's post racial society, proving my point of how it is far from post racial?! And do black men only have sex doggy style...are they dogs? I'm at a lost and unfortunately, this chick lacks the brain matter to clear things up.

But anyhow, poor Elin.  Last I heard she's bought a house that can only be reached by ferry. Obvious that she doesn't want to see tiger because at least one-third of him is adverse to water.  If its any solace Elin, we the Black race, have given you a card.

From Crossroads to Auschwitz

Now I applaud Britney Spears for decreasing her hot mess ratio, getting her kids back, and wearing shoes.

I do not, however, think she needs to ever be in a serious film...let alone one set in the Holocaust.  Read for yourself and shake your head....